The off and on again switch
Okay I'm back! first time writing anything this year, I'm not sure that I still can, we shall see. So whats been happening? Well going to the gym has taken up some of my time, although I'm getting bored with it and oddly enough not finding the time! and here I was at the end of last year bored!
The gym hmmmm well what can I say? the place is full of cockwombles! absolutely crammed with them! narcissistic arseholes all looking in the mirrors, congratulating themselves on how good they look! yea right, go waggle those huge but tiny egos at somebody that gives a shit! so why am I doing it? mainly for my own personal reasons. I'm now easily middle aged, so for the last half of my life I have abused my body, you know the sort of thing, drinking, smoking, fatty foods, drugs etc etc anything that wasn't good for me went in, now its all changed, for whatever reason living a healthy or best I can healthy life style seems quite important. Not that I give too much of a shit but another 45 years mooching around doing stuff would be good!
What else? I'm finally nicotine free, yep 30 odd years dedicated to nicotine, worshipping that particular god was good, but now its over, I had my last ciggy 2 years ago but transferred the habit into vaping, 8 weeks ago a chest infection caught up with me, so no vaping for a week. At the end of that week I just thought fuck it and sold all my kit, I didn't think it would be a big deal, but it has been the cravings over the last 6 weeks have been massive, not for ciggies or nicotine but for the vape! that surprised me, surprised me a lot. Over it now though, cigs and vape, smell equally bad!
How about a good sex story? Well I haven't got one ha ha or should I make one up? I dunno we shall see.
What else? not much really, oh yea I did give my ex wife a good yelling at! felt bloody good too, reduced her to tiny bits, should have done it bloody years ago! silly cow should not talk about me, hell I know I can talk about myself on here and you can all read it if you like, but none of you are probably going to talk about me, so why should she? the silly fucker didn't even have the intelligence to know when she was beaten. Tiny tiny pea brain, how does she survive?
The fiction chapter is still swirling around in my brain, that may come to frutition soon, or it might just keep on swirling for a while, there is definitely a further bigger picture forming.
My car! oh dear poor Christine, shes getting on a bit, bless her, another mot this month and yep she needs a bit of surgery, new glow plugs, nice oil change and she should be good for another year, fingers crossed.
Other than that things are a bit quiet, the photography mojo is returning, I can feel it, slowly rising like a badly drunken reverse titanic, the holes are getting fixed and the rot is being pumped out, a couple of more months and things should be ship shape again, the past few weeks my phone has been taking pics and video, its not good enough though, so the cameras will come out again!
I'm struggling tonight, its been a bit of a heavy day, not at work or anything like that but heavy at home, a serious conversation has taken place, that at my end consisted of a great deal of pain and some tears being shed, silly pain really, but to me it was a serious thing, and it seems ludicrous shedding tears over the simplest thing.....just sharing this blog......yet nearly 3000 other people have perused my babbling! what was happening inside for that to happen? I'm not sure, I think before I know the answer I have to sleep on it, stupid really.
That's it, as normal my brain is travelling a million thoughts a second but my head is empty! what is that all about? an on or off switch would be real nice!
