22nd December 2014 Part Two

   I turned left out of the kitchen door, left again through the back gate, out onto the drive, stopped at my car and rolled a cigarette. It was very much needed.  The police strolled up casually behind me, he started talking "We know shes drunk, we know she is high, we also know she is lying to us.  There is nothing we can do about it, but if you need us at any time for anything don't hesitate to get in touch" He said some other stuff, what it was I dont recall. I think at this point I gave the house keys to him, I'm not sure though.

 I didn't know what to say, what is there to say? 

Angel was still sat in her car, I walked over and jumped into the passenger seat, we talked, again what was said I dont recall, I do remember we chatted for what seemed like hours but can only have been 15 minutes at most. I smoked two roll ups, all the time I felt numb, like I was somebody else looking out at the whole experience, through somebody else, very weird sensation.

 Whatever we may have talked about, I had to do something, I had to get away from this horror, this end of a life experience. Saying goodbye to Angel, I walked over to my car, got in, noticed that the house keys had gone. When did they go? No idea. 

After starting the car I rolled another ciggy, lit it, took a deep breath, put the car into drive (automatic) , with no plan, no ideas, no money, just the clothes on my back and my car, I set off into the big wide world for what has turned out to be the best and worst times of my life.

First stop find a friendly face, my mother! Over coffee and more ciggys I blabbed out everything that had happened over the last few hours. We talked about it at length, she finally asked me what I wanted to do next. After some reflection and thinking I figured it was best to get out of Skeggy for a while. 

As luck would have it, she owned another property in another town not far away, that was standing empty doing nothing. (I wont mention where but its between Grimsby and Hull........Immingham!). So a plan was forming head up  to the other house, take some time out, get Christmas and the New Year out the way, then come back, find somewhere to live and rebuild a life.

Its not far to Immingham from Skeggy, maybe a 45 minute drive, give or take ten minutes, that drive just happened, I remember leaving my mothers, I remember arriving at Immingham, the drive inbetween? nothing! no recollection at all. 

So here we are Immingham just before Christmas, 2014. Litteraly falling through the front door, I popped the kettle on, made a strong cup of tea, and headed off to bed. Sleep didnt take long, for some reason I was exhausted!

Thats it, that was the day that changed my life forever, 22nd December 2014. 

Why am I doing this blog? I need to get everything out my system, it hurts, it hurts a lot, the physical scars have healed, but the mental wounds remain. I am struggling with life, or I persive myself to be struggling with life. I have a hard time trusting people, and making new friends. I value the few friends I have very highly, they have offered lots and lots of support, I owe them a debt of gratitude I can never ever repay, all I can do is be about if they ever need me.

Thank you xxx

To be continued.......