The Nightmare

Some of you may think this is not relevant to my story,  but to me it is. I have had a reccurring nightmare since I first met Kathy back in  the late 90s. My mind has played it over hundreds of times, its always the same with always the same ending. It happened a few times a year when I was married to her, after I got into my flat, I would play it through every few nights, as I got more comfortable with myself it occurred less and less. Last night it happened again. I have no idea what it might mean.

It starts in a truck, I know its World War 2 and I know we are somewhere in Europe. We are dressed in  some form of uniform, its always Green, not a dark green but a light coloured more browny green. I'm in the cab of the truck sat behind the front two seats. In front of me in the drivers seat (right side) is a fairly good looking man. He's wearing the same uniform as me, his hair is dark with fair skin. I have never seen his face.

On the passenger side sits a woman, she is absolutely stunning, blond wavy hair, blue eyes, full red lips. She is also wearing the same uniform. Her hands, my god they are beautiful, my mind fixates on those hands, they are nearly creamy white, with long painted red fingernails.

Suddenly, I'm looking out the front windscreen, I can see both the man and woman on the left and right of me, we are travelling down a dirt road, with what look like pine trees on both sides, the sun is shining, it looks like a beautiful sunny day. No sound, I can hear nothing, no engine noises, no conversation, nothing. No matter how much I strain to hear something. 

We are travelling down this dirt road for what seems an absolute age, it must be summer, there is no sign of mud or puddles on the road, no birds either, no other people, just the three of us. The trees are a beautiful shade of Green, the sky is a shade of Blue unlike any I've seen, its a very surreal experience.

Eventually we get to the end of the road, in front of us is a fork one to the left one to the right, in between the two roads is an old hut with a sign post outside. The hut is Grey, it looks old, it has a sloping roof with a small metal chimney poking out the top, the door into it is closed. The sign looks like its made of wood, it has two arms, one pointing left one pointing right, both arms are painted white and have writing on them. I can see the words but not make out what they say.

The man stops the truck, gets out and walks over to the sign post, he looks up at both arms, looks both to the left and the right then walks casually to the hut. He opens the door and steps through, closing it after him. For what seems an age the man is inside the hut, the woman, is talking, I can see her lips moving, what she is saying, I have no idea, still no sound.

After what seems an eternity the man steps out of the hut, I can see him clearly now, hes wearing the same uniform as we are, a light browny green colour, it a very plain uniform, no sign of any markings at all, no matter how hard I try to see, his face remains obscured, just a blob of fair skin with dark hair. He has a cigarette between his fingers, for some reason that stands out, I can see its an old filterless roll up, the smoke drifts straight up, no wind.

Casually walking back to the truck, the man gets behind the wheel and just sits smoking, staring straight out the windscreen. For the first time I can hear sound, its the woman, she speaks in a language I don't know, but I can understand it. "Have we finished with him?" she ask's nodding her head towards me. The man turns his head towards her and just nods.

Things start to slow down now, a spike of fear shoots through me, I can see the woman start to turn towards me, she moves her left arm under her jacket. I notice very casually that there is no markings on her jacket. I look up, straight into her eyes, they are the most bluest eyes I have ever seen, almost the same blue as the sky. Steamy seductive eyes, I'm mesmerised by them. No matter how much I try to move I'm frozen to the spot.

Her left arm starts moving again, it comes out the jacket. My eyes move down to her hand as she brings it up towards me, I fixate on those nails, they are very well trimmed the red nail polish has no blemishes no chips or scratches, they are just perfect. She is holding a gun! I know whats coming, no matter how hard I try, I still cannot move. 

She brings the gun up level with my eyes, fear is completely and utterly holding me now, I know whats coming I'm completely powerless to stop it. My eyes move from those gorgeous nails to the gun, I see the aiming sight on top of the barrel, the colour of it, dark grey, almost black, my eyes move down to the barrel.

BANG!

I wake up, I have just been shot in the head.  I'm sweating like a marathon runner, scared shitless. For a few minutes I'm disorientated, where am I? Ahhhhhh I'm home in bed, safe in my beautifully luxurious bed.

Something triggers this dream, I am not sure what it is, part of me wants to believe its a perfectly natural thing, that everyone has a recurring dream, I know they don't. What set it off last night? Perhaps its just thinking about what I'm going to write about in this blog, perhaps its something more sinister that goes back further than Kathy, I don't know. I do know I want it gone, gone forever.



this song reminds me of the nightmare